What happened was that my triple screen bloodwork came back with "an elevated AFP" which basically means that there were certain risk factors that were present which warranted further investigation. One of the things that was a potential worry for the baby was Spina Bifida.
But, there are other reasons that AFP can be elevated, one of which is more than one baby! I knew this, but even so, I never dreamed that boring old Mark and I would ever have something so crazy happen to us! We were more convinced that something was wrong with the baby and we were worried like crazy.
We got referred for genetic counselling in Winnipeg. We did a family history and medical history with the very nice genetic counsellor and she kept asking us questions about fertility drugs and stuff but even then it didn't dawn on us that everyone else was suspecting a multiple pregnancy except us!
Finally we went in for the ultrasound, TERRIFIED about what news we would get. I immediately saw two "blobs" (ie: heads) on the screen but denial was still flowing strong and it wasn't until the nurse spelled it out for me that I believed it: TWO babies.
"Okay, I can do twins" I thought. (Even though, several times, Mark and I have joked that twins would be a nightmare and how on earth would we ever handle TWO Rylen's?????)
And then she moved the wand a bit more and exclaimed "Oh! What's that!? There's another one! TRIPLETS!".
The rest I don't remember. I think I was hysterical. I think I thought I was dreaming. I was laughing and shaking and crying. Someone really should have slapped me or something.
Mark was in shock also, kept asking "How did this happen? Did we try too hard?"
We then asked for a refresher lesson in how triplets get made because we honestly could not comprehend how this occurred! For those who don't know, basically I lay eggs like a hen (Mark's words, not mine) and released two eggs, both got fertilized and then one split into two babies: voila! So in the end we ended up with two identical twins plus a single baby who just decided to join the party apparently :-)
Anyways, then followed a 2 hour long ultrasound where they tried to get the anatomy of all three babies. The whole time, I kept thinking that this was crazy and could not really be happening. People kept coming in to "see" them on the screen and congratulating us. The genetic counsellor revealed that she suspected multiples since all my levels on my blood work were so high (three babies produce three times the hormones, proteins etc...) I half expected a tv crew to pop in there was so much fuss made of us!
The nurse asked if we wanted to know the gender. Mark and I have always liked a good surprise and had discussed before hand that we didn't want to know. Well, we figured we had enough surprise for awhile and I also said logically "if they are all boys, I need to get my head around that, because we are NOT doing this again!" So, the nurse started looking for boy/girl parts....
One boy....
Two boys......
and.....
THREE boys.
Seriously. I was so mad at Mark. I think I may even have swatted him. All those babies and he couldn't even have given me one girl? Honestly. He was just as upset with me for "laying too many eggs". Oh, what the nurse must have thought of us and our craziness.
The nurse tried to reassure me that I could always try for a girl later.
Hahhahahaa, that was halarious. (I think we both laughed hysterically at that.)
The awesome thing is that all three boys were healthy and growing well. We were so relieved as we had been so scared that something was seriously wrong. And, I love boys. They are so crazy and fun and lively. I never did think I'd be a mom of girls, just didn't think it was in the cards for me (although I hoped). So, the shock of being a mom to four boys wore off quick. I got over it fast. But the whole THREE BABIES thing....well that took longer.....
We went home, completely shell shocked and thinking random crazy thoughts all the way home:
"What are we going to name them?"
"When are you booking your vasectomy?"
"Imagine this happened on a one night stand??
"OMG,OMG, OMG"
"Is this a dream?"
"Which one of our parents are we going to force retirement upon?"
"Maybe one will turn into a girl...."
"Is it possible for one to change into a girl??? That's creepy.."
"Poor Rylen"
"How did this happen again???"
"We should buy a lottery ticket" (which we did)
Anyways, the next two weeks were full of many emotions. People asked how I felt and I'm ashamed now to admit to some of the things I was feeling. But, I will be honest and not sugar coat this for the benefit of any other moms out there that may be reading and feeling the same things:
I felt:
terrified,
overwhelmed,
panicked,
amazed,
out of control,
angry, (after all, I didn't choose this, nobody asked me if it was a good idea or not!!!)
happy they were healthy,
scared for us, our marriage and for Rylen
scared for our bank account!
scared for what my body is going to have to endure
intense longing to only have ONE baby in there
over protective of Rylen ( I was convinced we had just ruined his life by making him a big brother x 3)
and at times I felt like the world was ending. You know, the "WHY ME???" feeling.
Basically I was in bed with a migraine and cried for two days.
I later read in a book, that when a mom finds out she is expecting multiples, she goes through the five stages of grief. I would totally agree with this. It is so shocking and so life changing that your whole world gets shaken.
It was hard to accept everyone's well wishes and congratulations, knowing that most of them were thinking "I'm so glad it's not us". That being said, I also knew that there are couples out there that would give anything to be in our shoes, to just have one baby would be a miracle for them, and here we are blessed so effortlessly with three at once. Life isn't fair.
I am so happy to say that now that a few weeks has passed, and we have slowly gotten used to the reality of triplets, that we are feeling much better about things. Mark got to that point sooner than I did, but we are both now excited, thrilled, amazed, happy, and confident that we can do this!!!!! We feel lucky, and I am so amazed at my body and how it can grow three little babies and still somewhat function normally (for now anyways!) We are so thankful that all the babies are healthy and feel so fortunate that we are going to have the large family that other people dream of. We are also blown away by the generosity of all the people in our lives who have offerred help, encouragement and well wishes. We really are very lucky people.
We looked up the odds for conceiving triplets naturally: 1 in 8100. Wow!
We are looking forward to meeting these little guys and have started organizing our life to accomodate our new family which will be doubling in size! We now see the triplets as a very welcome enhancement to our lives and my sadness for Rylen has disapeared. I think he will be an awesome big brother and will one day love having three little brothers to boss around and play with.
I still ask at each ultrasound, "are they still all boys??" I don't know why. It would actually complicate things more if one was a girl (room sharing, clothes etc...) At the last visit the nurse gave me a very explicit view of "the parts" which my boys were showing off so modestly for the whole word to see. Yes, they are definitely all boys.
And I love them so much already. :-)
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| 17 weeks, getting bigger rapidly! |
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| Our new and expanded family photo gallery (I think we will need to choose a bigger wall) |
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| We posted the ultrasound pictures for a good dose of reality every day while we were trying to get our heads around the news. Mark said he felt like he was dreaming and it helped him to look at the pictures all the time. |
