Christmas 2011

Finally have a few moments to post some things...such as Christmas! I know it is long gone, but I reminded myself today that one of the reasons I am doing this blog, is for a "journal" for myself. One day I will want to look back and remember all the details...such as the boys' first Christmas!

It wasn't a great one. As I've stated before, Rhys was super sick and that sort of took the "Merry" out of the whole holiday. But, I was determined to do "proper" Christmas for Rylen's sake, especially since this is the first year where he sort of "got it". As in, he knew that there was this guy Santa that would bring him a present.

I know, I know....this isn't the true meaning of Christmas. But, when you are 2, it's really hard to focus on much else. Presents trump everything else. One day I will make sure he knows what the holiday is really about, but for now it's all about Santa.

We actually did the whole Christmas thing a day early because my dad and brother worked Christmas Day. That's the benefit of your kid not being able to read a calendar...you can make holidays whenever you want them to be! On the 23rd, I promised Rylen that we would make cookies to leave out for Santa. Unfortunately, that's the day Rhys got very sick. His nurse literally had to kick me out of the hospital and make me go home to Rylen, reminding me that I promised him we'd bake cookies. That was the first (but not last, I'm sure) time I have felt completely torn between my children. But, Rylen was at home super excited waiting to bake (one of his favourite activities), so off I went.

So, we baked.....

And made a mess....

And wrote Santa a letter. And laid out cookies and milk. I have no idea why Santa needed two mugs of milk, but according to Rylen it was of utmost importance.

The next morning, lo and behold, Santa had arrived! Rylen was pretty excited. He got a Mack truck that he decided to ask Santa for at the last minute (thus making "Santa" run out to Walmart despite the fact that Christmas shopping had been completed long ago...oh the things "Santa" does to compensate for creating utter turmoil in their child's life by having babies)

Later that night, Mark and I were at the hospital with Rhys and Garrett. Earlier in the day Mark had purchased little stockings for the boys and we hung them by their beds. I also read them both "Twas The Night Before Christmas" before leaving. It was very important to me that I make their first Christmas a little bit "normal".

Garrett`s bedside

Rhys, so sick. His Christmas onesie is there waiting for him, but he had too many tubes to actually wear it.

Rhys` stocking and ornament

Reading to Garrett

This was the night that we received the awesome Christmas bags from the NICU staff with the pictures in them. So awesome. Like I said, we really needed a "pick me up" and they sure came through!

 Christmas Day, we all came to visit. And got another Giroux family photo! This one wasn`t as great. Garrett could not be close to Rhys due to his illness, and you can clearly see in the picture that Rhys is white as as ghost...not well at all. But still, we got it done, and the important thing is we were all together for a few minutes at Christmas time. That was the best present ever. :-)

Update January 5

Alot has happened since my last update!

On Dec 29, Rhys developed a blood clot in his leg as a complication from his central line. It was quite serious initially. I was there with him when it was "discovered". Basically we turned him over to change his diaper and saw that his previously normal looking leg had ballooned in size and was purple. Like, literally purple. It was shocking. I remember thinking "OMG, his leg is going to fall off."  and then thinking "it's okay...he doesn't need two legs, he just needs to live". Because at that point he was still pretty sick from his infection and was requiring blood transfusions to keep his platelet levels up. The antibiotics hadn't fully kicked in yet and they were really worried about why his platelet levels kept dropping. I couldn't believe that he was having yet another health problem to deal with. The poor kid has been through so much already.

Anyways, the whole purple leg thing really freaked everyone out. But after a little while the colour got a little more pink and it was determined that they would just monitor it for any changes.

At 2am on December 30, I got The Dreaded Phone Call. You know the one. The phone rings and you just know that the person on the other end isn't calling to tell you some good news. 2am phone calls are always bad. Sure enough, it was the doctor telling me that Rhys' leg situation was nagging her so badly that she couldn't sleep. So she called the radiologist up in the night to do an ultrasound and they determined he had a large clot in his leg as well as in the central line. They thought the best thing would be for Rhys to be transferred to HSC Children's Hospital where the pediatric surgeon would likely pull his central line and take him to the OR to do a jugular line. They also needed to treat Rhys with a clot-busting medication to ensure that the clot would disappear and not travel elsewhere in his body. The side effect of this drug is bleeding, and with Rhys' platelets being so low it was a risk. So, he needed another transfusion to get his platelet levels up before they gave him the medication.  After all this information, the doctor told me she was sorry for waking me up and to try and get some rest. HA! I know she was just being nice, but that was hilarious. Who can rest when your kid is in such rough shape???

At 8 am I arrived at the hospital and accompanied Rhys on his first field trip outside! He got packed up in an isolette and off we went for a ride in a Medi Van (disappointing, I was hoping he would get his first real ambulance ride!) to HSC. He loved the trip over, eyes wide open and looking around the whole time. He's such a curious little boy :-)

Once we were there, he had another ultrasound and assessment of his leg (which was actually improving quite rapidly) and the surgeon who put in the central line came to see us. At this point I began to relax...the slow pace at which everyone was moving made me realize that his leg was likely not going to fall off anytime soon.

In the end, it was decided that the risk of removing the line and having an operation to put in a jugular line, was too great. It was better to leave in his current central line, and since the ultrasound showed that the clot had resolved and his leg was improving, this was the best decision for Rhys. However, the surgeon wanted to keep him at HSC for a few days just to make sure.

Thus began a period of time which I will refer to as "Holy Crap Stress Overload" or "Please Someone Cut Me Into Three" or "Postpartum Mama With Three Kids In Three Places CANNOT HANDLE THIS!".  Many meltdowns occurred. Likely a psych consult was written up by one or more nurses. Up until that point I felt I was handling things pretty well. But the two babies at two different facilities thing really put me over the top. Coping skills went out the window. I felt like I couldn't give any of my kids enough time/attention and that my level of involvement with Garrett and Rhys was diminished. I felt like a visitor coming to "look" at my babies rather than be a mommy to them.

Thankfully, after expressing my dislike of the situation to ANYONE who was willing to listen (or not willing to listen but had no choice, such as strangers in the elevator) all the doctors agreed that Rhys could be transferred back to St. B to be with Garrett.  The clot had resolved, his leg was looking better and they were definitely not going to put the jugular line in.

So, happy day! On January 4 Rhys came back and is now happily parked beside Garrett. This makes mommy very happy :-) As soon as he arrived back, I could feel the stress melt away. And, his leg is looking even better. It is the same colour as the other one and the swelling has gone down. He is starting to get fed again because his infection is finally resolved. He is back to being his feisty little self (his special talent is unbundling

Garrett is also doing very well. He is getting so chubby and really getting great at breast and bottle feeding. They predict he may be able to be discharged in the next week or so!

Today was a great day. It was the first day since the 29th that I had both babies in the same place all day long. I got to go back and forth between them all day, cuddling Rhys and feeding Garrett. They are both so sweet and snugly. I just can't wait to get them home.

Thanks to everyone for thinking of us and praying for Rhys. He will definitely grow up knowing that so many people cheered him on in his early days and wished him well.

Update December 28

Just thought I'd post this update about Rhys. Alot of people already know that he has been through a lot in his little life thus far. But, that kid is one tough cookie!

His latest battle is a urinary tract infection that he became ill with right before Christmas. It has taken awhile for the antibiotics to kick in, but he is finally starting to show signs of improvement. However, he still has some pretty major tummy issues which may be another infection, or may be complications from when he was sick the first time (in early December) with necrotizing enterocolitis.

Due to all this, he has required two blood transfusions over the past two days. This was complicated because it was very difficult to get and maintain IV access on him. Poor guy has had more IVs in the past week than you can imagine. His veins are weak and small and all the medication is very irritating, so the IVs do not last very long. He has had a few IVs done in his scalp which has resulted in the need to shave little bits of hair from his head. Well, the poor guy is starting to resemble Caillou at this point. He basically has no hair left on the top and either side of his head. The back has been left untouched, causing him to look as though he has a very severe baby mullet.  I had to run to the gift shop to buy him a cute hat because I think he was feeling self conscious!

Last night, the surgeon came to give him a central line. This is basically a catheter that travels through his veins straight to his heart. Central lines are more permanent than regular IVs are. This is the second time he has had a central line so it's old news for tough guy Rhys. He took the procedure like a champ as he does with most of the things that are done to him. His only complaint is that he is damn hungry and nobody is feeding him!!!! (He has to keep an empty digestive system until they can figure out what his problem is).

The complaining about being hungry is actually very good news. Over Christmas, he was basically acting like a limp noodle. He didn`t care about anything and very rarely cried or put a fuss up, even when he was being poked with needles. He has definitely become a lot more like his old feisty self over the past day or so. This is good news. It is puzzling though, because all his lab work and tests show that he is indeed a very sick boy, but yet, he is acting so much better.

We are hoping that the blood transfusions do the trick and he makes a full recovery. He has a lot of catching up to do to get to where his big brother is! Garrett is doing very well. He is starting to act more like a term baby, waking up to eat on his own, and learning to breastfeed! He is 4 lbs 12.5 ounces already!

Thank you to everyone who continues to think of our boys and send us their well wishes and prayers. It is so comforting to know that Garrett and Rhys have so many people that are rooting for them!!!

Merry Christmas from the NICU

The NICU staff are truly amazing people. I've never seen a group of people more dedicated to their jobs, who sincerely LOVE all the babies they take care of, and their mommy's and daddy's too! On a daily basis, we marvel at what great care our boys are getting and of how much love they receive from the staff. All the little "extra" things they do to make the babies more comfortable, or to make the parents feel more at home, are so appreciated.

Christmas Eve was a particularly special day. All the babies got these amazing gift bags filled with all kinds of great stuff. These bags were HUGE and I was blown away by the amount of effort it must have taken for the staff to organize it all. In our bags, were stuffed toys, handmade quilts and blankets (each baby got three), and best of all: pictures!!!!! The staff did a Christmas photo shoot with each baby to give to the parents. We got a framed photo of each baby, and then a cd with the all the photos on it.

Oh my goodness. When we got home and looked at the cd, I couldn't believe it. You won't either. It seems impossible that any baby could be as cute as ours are.

Just a warning: what follows is so ridiculously adorable that it may drive you to do something silly, like for example: get pregnant (in an attempt to create a child as cute as mine are). Or, if not, you may just call me up and ask if you can come cuddle mine for awhile. Anyways, the point is, I have never seen anything quite so heart melting in my life as these pictures. I'm sure you will agree:

Garrett

Rhys

My favourite. The definition of "precious". Rhys on the left, Garrett on the right. I love how they are holding hands and looking at each other. I wish I could have been there to see this. I have been eagerly awaiting when the brothers can be together again :-) 

 
These pictures were so welcome on a day that was actually pretty crappy for us. Rhys was extremely sick in the days leading up to Christmas. On Christmas Eve he was at his worst and it was very stressful and upsetting for Mark and I. He was very close to being intubated and on a ventilator and they weren't exactly sure what was wrong with him (and therefore unsure of how to treat him). These pictures totally lifted our spirits. We had a good laugh at some of them. The nurse that took the pictures warned us "Garrett didn't like the camera". She was right! Most of Garrett's pictures seem to look as if he has just been awoken the morning after a really awesome Christmas party where too many cocktails were consumed. Like this one for example:

Rhys on the other hand, seemed to be out to prove he was indeed a baby model. Every picture of him was downright perfect. Like this one:

Don't we make the cutest children ever???? :-)

Sorry for all the bragging, but these pictures really made my day. It was such a great idea for the staff to do this for all the parents and really proves how dedicated they are to making life a bit more bearable for the NICU families, especially during the holidays.

I will post more about Christmas later on. But just wanted to get these pictures up so everyone can enjoy the adorable-ness!!!!

My boys

Got to hold both little boys today and just happened to have Rylen and Mark there too! I think technically this was against the "rules" but we had a very nice nurse that made an exception in order to get a new updated Giroux family photo! :-) I was so happy.

Almost forgot....the belly!!

I meant to post this picture as well, but I forgot.

Alot of people were wondering how big I was at the end. This is the last picture I have of me pregnant. I was 31 weeks and 4 days.

Brace yourself.....

Yes, my belly was it's own planet. It was so big that it actually became Rylen's new favourite hiding place. I couldn't see him at all when he stood underneath it.

And, in case you are wondering, I did end up getting stretch marks. Not too many though, and they only appeared in the last two weeks or so.

As big as I was, now that I look at the boys, I have a hard time believing that they all fit in there! They must have been jam packed in there. I wonder if they miss each other now that they are out and separated. I can't wait until we can get Rhys and Garrett cuddling together (that's a big NO in the NICU where they are even bigger germophobes than I am... and for good reason!)

I wonder if I posted a pic of what my belly looks like now, if I would get a free tummy tuck like Kate Gosselin did???? Hmmm...nope. Don't think that even that would be incentive enough for me to post that for all to see. Plus, I don't think I could fit a tummy tuck into my busy schedule.  :-)

Finally!!! An update....

Well, it's been ages since I posted. I've been so busy. Most of you know by now that our babies were born on November 30 at exactly 32 weeks gestation. Not everyone knows the details, so I will do a brief summary of what has happened over the last few weeks:

On November 29 at supper time I went into the hospital because I was just feeling "not right" all day. I didn't really have anything specific wrong with me, but I just felt unwell and very anxious. I mentioned in my last post that I had this fear that I would somehow "overlook" signs and symptoms of labor and end up delivering my babies in the toilet at home. I was kind of joking,  but kind of not. I really was a little bit worried about this!  Anyways, I got checked out at the hospital by some very nice nurses and doctor who humoured me and took my vague symptoms seriously despite the fact that I was not contracting at all and had basically ZERO signs of labor. I was 1-2 cm and sent home totally reassured that all was well.

Well, these boys of mine must have been counting down to the "32 week" milestone! Because at pretty much exactly midnight on November 30 (32 weeks on the dot!) I woke up and started having contractions. They were quite mild at first, so I wandered around the kitchen timing them for about an hour. At 1:30am I woke up Mark and told him that we should probably prepare to go back to the hospital. While I waited for him to get ready, the contractions got a bit stronger. But still manageable. On the way to the hospital, I do remember thinking "maybe this is the night" but then quickly decided that no, I was likely just anxious again and maybe I'd be admitted but definitely would not be having babies.

Well imagine my surprise when at the hospital I turned out to be fully dilated! Apparently my superstar cervix had finally decided it had enough of holding babies in! I don't  fully remember all that happened, because it was so fast! But I was whisked off to the OR quicker than you an imagine and prepped for a c-section under general anaesthesia. I was completely unconscious for the entire thing, which contrary to what some people think, is probably the WORST way to give birth. But, for me, it was the safest thing to do given the situation. I am so grateful for the entire team of doctors and nurses that helped to safely deliver my babies so quickly.

So, our little miracles were born!
Baby A is Garrett Benjamin, born at 3:30, weighing 3 lbs 13 oz.
Baby B is our angel, Benjamin Mark, born at 3:32, weighing 2 lbs, 1 oz.
Baby C is Rhys William, born at 3:33, weighing 4 lbs, 9 oz!

I have to thank three very special nurses: Bonnie, Mia and Candice for their AMAZING care. Our family was so fortunate to have these special ladies look after us during our very unique and difficult birth experience. If you guys are reading this, please know that you made such an impact on our experience and gave us some very positive memories to look back on. Your gentle care of Ben was so comforting to us. Thank you.

Rhys and Garrett have been in the NICU since birth and likely will be for several more weeks. Garrett seems to be out to show Rhys that he is indeed the "big brother" as he has been making progress very quickly. He is disconnected from most of his tubes and monitors and just has a heart monitor and feeding tube in place. He is starting to be able to breastfeed and tolerating his tube feeds well. He is also gaining weight! As of today he is 3 lbs, 14.5 oz.

Rhys on the other hand, had a major setback on Dec 6. He was diagnosed with a  bowel infection called "necrotizing enterocolitis" which is common in preemies, and can be very serious.  It was a very stressful and scary day or so as we did not know what the outcome might be. Thankfully, he had great care by an amazing team of doctors and nurses and is on the road to recovery. He was not able to eat for a week, but as of yesterday is slowly starting up his feeds again. As a result, he is quite a bit behind Garrett, but hopefully he can catch up quickly.

Basically our lives revolve around NICU, and Rylen. Trying to find a balance between being there for the babies and spending time with Rylen is quite difficult. There isn't time for much else, which is why this blog post is so late! Thankfully I have a superstar husband and great parents to help share the load with.

Alot of people have wondered what our "daily routine" is like. The NICU environment is pretty much a mystery unless you have experienced it yourself! Basically, when I am there, I go back and forth between both babies, and pump breast milk in between. If I am not careful, I can get stuck in there all day without eating, drinking, or peeing! I have to really watch the clock to remind myself to take a break.  Parents are encouraged to do as much care as possible for your babies. So, at feeding times, I change their diapers, do mouth care, take their temperature and a few other things, and then often I cuddle them skin to skin (kangaroo care). The idea is to only handle the babies at feeding times and get everything done all at once so they have as much time as possible to rest and grow. Rhys and Garrett are not on the same feeding schedule so by the time I am done with one, it's the other one's turn! I have been spending most of my day there, and sometimes my parents watch Rylen while Mark is with me, or else Mark and I switch off around supper time and I go home while he stays with the babies. It's a lot busier than I envisioned it being, but I'm happy to have the opportunity to do so much for my babies despite the fact that they are in the hospital. The NICU staff are fantastic and we are amazed everyday at the technology that is used and the intensity of the care they receive. So thankful we live in Canada where I will not be getting a giant bill for their stay! (Garrett is totally busting their diaper budget. Seriously, the kid poops more than you can imagine. And he likes to do it in a clean diaper. So in other words, each diaper change involves 3-4 diapers and like 20 minutes of sitting there waiting for him to finally finish)

One of the biggest downfalls of a c-section while unconscious, is that you miss everything! It is a very strange feeling to "fall asleep" pregnant and wake up not pregnant anymore. And, the biggest thing that I found unsettling is that my babies were gone without me ever having seen them or hear them cry. The first time I went into the NICU to see them, I remember thinking " any of these kids could be mine" I totally relied on Mark and the staff to tell me which babies were my sons. Not a nice feeling at all. A complete opposite feeling from when I had Rylen, who never left my sight after the birth. Anyways, it took a little bit of time (mostly for all the narcotics to wear off), but eventually I fell in love with my little men and quickly got to know their little quirks and personalities. It's funny, but because Garrett is a lot tinier than Rhys, alot of people assume he is the "little brother", as in the younger one. But really, he is a whole 3 minutes older!  As a result we now refer to these guys as  "The Little Big Brother" (Garrett) and " The Big Little Brother" (Rhys) or "Little Big and Big Little" for short. I wonder if those nicknames will stick? Maybe they will even out in size eventually?  I can't wait for everyone to see how adorable they are. We don't have many great pictures yet, especially because they have been hooked up to so many tubes and stuff that it's hard to get a good look at their faces. But really, they are so cute and cuddly and we are totally smitten with them. They don't look anything alike each other and their size difference is so apparent that all my fears of mixing them up are completely gone.

Rhys, on CPAP

Garrett right after delivery

Garrett, on ventilator for a few hours

Garrett in the "tanning salon" :-)

Garrett "kangaroo-ing" with Mommy

Garrett

Rhys

Rhys "kangaroo-ing" with Daddy

Rylen holding Garrett and singing him Twinkle Twinkle. Precious.

Rhys

Garrett