The Fair

It was the Winter Fair last week in Brandon. Now that Rylen is a bit older, we enjoy doing these types of activities with him.

We decided, for his sake, to brave taking everyone to the fair. We decided to go at the last minute, so the whole thing started off very hectic. Loading everyone up, packing bags, snacks, bottles....seems to take us a year to get ready to go anywhere.

Anyways, we finally made it there.

At which point, I realized we must be crazy.

First of all, I will discuss "The Bus" which is what I have nicknamed our stroller. We bought a Joovy Big Caboose which is basically the double version of the regular Joovy which alot of people have for a baby and a toddler.

Well, my understanding is  that the single version of this stroller is great. The double, not so much. There's a reason I call it "The Bus".

People were literally running away from us as we pushed our way through the crowds with this puppy. It is so huge and cumbersome. A true embarrassment. Mark had to hold the front and steer, while I pushed from the back. Several times we got stuck. It's like pushing a bad shopping cart. A shopping cart loaded with screaming babies.

Things overheard while pushing this sucker around:
"Whoa!!!! It's on the move!!!"  (said while backing away, clearly frightened)
"Wow, that's a Big Rig"
"Oh my." (enough said right??)

It was very embarrassing, and basically this thing just attracted more attention to us than was necessary. We were quite the spectacle.

Speaking of spectacles,  Rylen didn't help things much. Especially when he ran on stage during a children's  musical performance and proceeded to start playing with the music equipment. Mark, who was holding and burping Garrett after a feed, had to run on stage and chase him off. Of course, Rylen protested this. Quite loudly. (During this incident, Rhys and I were happily pretending we did not know "those crazy people").


The fair was super crowded. And the babies were fussy. Which meant that everyone and their dog came over to gawk/drool over the babies. I felt like a celebrity. But not the gorgeous, skinny, makeup and hair-done kind. More like a sleep-deprived, hair a mess, baby puke on my sleeve, part of some crazy reality show that everyone makes fun of but still watches. That kind.

Anyways, looking back, we did have fun. Rylen loved the big sandbox, the seed sorter, the petting zoo and the Super Dogs. At the time, it seemed  completely nuts, but we are slowly realizing that crazy is the new normal for taking out two babies and a soon- to- be 3 year old.  We are glad that we braved it and it gave us confidence to try and get out of the house more and resume "normal life" activities.

 P.S. We have recently bought a new, much more compact double stroller that I can manage on my own. The Joovy is up for sale. Any takers???

Corrected Age

It amazes me that I have 4 month old babies. They are so small and tiny still, and they don't do anything that 4 month old babies should do. They weigh about 9 and a half pounds each. I think when Rylen was 4 months he was around 16 pounds.

If we are out in public, people will often ask "how old are they?". I always stumble over the answer. If I say "4 months", they look at me as if I'm some awful mother who doesn't feed her babies. But, it feels wrong to outright lie and say "2 months" which is their "corrected age".

Corrected age or "adjusted age" is a term used to describe the age of premature babies. Basically, you count from the due date, and this is their "corrected age". It gives a more accurate description of how they should be behaving developmentally.  The time from when they were actually born, to their due date, was spent just trying to survive and grow. It doesn't really count because they were still supposed to be cookin' away in my belly!

So, Garrett and Rhys' corrected age is around 9 weeks. And they do act like 9 week old babies. I feel as though the newborn stage for these guys, has lasted forever! Which is good, because there are alot of awesome things about the newborn stage (if you can get past the sleep deprivation to enjoy them). There is absolutely nothing like a just-fed little baby snuggling into your neck, smelling all milky and sleeping like a rock. And, you can pretty much bring them anywhere with you.  Newborns are quite portable. So long as they are fed and changed, they are good to go.

But, I am starting to see some changes in the boys. They are smiling, and cooing, and staying awake longer between feeds. They both have more head control now and aren't as squishy and floppy. And the sound of their cries is becoming different and more "big boy". They are finally growing up! Of course this makes me happy. But also sad. I will miss the newborn stage. I won't miss the sleep deprivation (but who am I kidding, that will last awhile longer). Putting away some of their clothes that they have outgrown is bittersweet. I can't believe how small they used to be.

Times sure flies. All you moms out there know what I'm talking about right?

Benjamin

Dear Ben,

We miss you and think of you every day. I am so happy that I had the amazing experience of growing you and carrying you inside me. Your time with us was brief and I wish I cherished it more.

Every time I look at Garrett I think of you. I picture the two of you side by side, little clones of each other. Then I picture you, Garrett and Rhys all together. I so wish that you were here with all of us.

Every time someone calls Garrett and Rhys "twins" I want to tell them that they are wrong. I want people to know that you existed and were loved so much. We are thankful for the health of your brothers. But it doesn't change the fact that we are devastated by your loss.

Everyday, I wonder why you were given to us, only to be taken away. The only reason I can come up with, is that you have made us better parents. We appreciate things more, especially your brothers. We are learning to let the little things go, and focus on what is important in life.

When I lose patience with one of your brothers, I often think of you. I remind myself of how much I would love to have you here driving me crazy too.

Thank you Ben for watching over your brothers and keeping them safe. Thank you for teaching us to be better people and better parents.

We love you and miss you more than words can say.

Benjamin Mark

Nov 30, 2011

2 lbs 1 oz

Three of a kind....

Everyone asks if we dress the boys alike. I usually laugh at this. The sheer effort this would take to coordinate on a daily basis is just too much for me to even think about. Mostly because i have the World's Pukiest Kids. Seriously, someone is always barfing. Often, clothes last a grand total of 22 seconds before they need to be changed. It would be impossible to dress them alike for this reason alone.

However, I do think the idea of it is pretty cute to try and manage occasionally. Awhile back, I found matching pyjamas for everyone. I got one in Rylen's size and the other two I have been waiting for the babies to grow into.

Finally they fit, and I was bound and determined to get a picture of all my boys in their matching jammies. Rylen thought this was pretty cool and was quite impressed that Garrett and Rhys had the same jammies as him. (He also thought I should have some too and was quite disappointed when I told him they don't make blue digger sleepers in my size)

Anyways, I managed to get everyone in their jammies and after 30 seconds  nobody spit up so I decided to go ahead with the photo shoot.

It lasted approximately 30 more seconds before Rhys started puking on Rylen causing quite the commotion.

But, here's what I got:

It is pretty cute, I have to admit. These pictures make me smile. :-)

Rhys

Rhys is our little fighter. He has already overcome so many obstacles in his little life. When I think back to how sick he was, I am amazed at his resilience and strength. I am so glad that is all behind us now.

The name "Rhys" apparently means "dragon", "fervor", "passion", "ultimate strength", "king" or "zeal". I also read in one of our baby name books that it means "feisty". Which is totally fitting for Rhys. We didn't know the meaning of his name until after we had picked it and were contemplating the spelling (which, by the way, we did not make up. Its the traditional Welsh spelling of the name and is the "masculine" way as opposed to "Reese"). But once we found out the meaning of his name we thought it was a perfect fit. Even in the womb, Rhys was very active. I was always the most aware of him in comparison to his brothers.

Rhys was initially the "Big Little" brother. He was so pudgy as a new baby. Which was kinda funny since he only weighed 4 lbs 9 oz. But, when he kept getting sick he started using all his energy on just trying to live. He barely grew at all the whole time he was in the NICU. As a result, he became quite a bit smaller than Garrett. I remember at his sickest, he looked so thin and frail, like he was wasting away. You could see all his ribs and every vertebrae in his spine. Poor guy.

But, finally, the little man is putting some meat on his bones! He is now 8 lbs 12 oz and you can even see some little pudgy rolls on his limbs! He looks so healthy these days. We are so proud of him.

Rhys continues to be feisty. He has a bit more patience than Garrett does, but once he does get angry, watch out! His cry is so loud and means business! He also does not sit still. He has great head control and can be quite difficult to hold because of how squirmy he is.

Rhys' BFF is his soother. He is truly soothed by it, whereas Garrett will just humour you by sucking on it for a few seconds. Rhys LOVES his soother. I think this stems from his NICU days when he was not allowed to eat. His only solace was his beloved soother which he basically sucked inside out because he was so hungry.

Rhys is so sweet. When he does finally get tired and settle down, he just melts right into you. He loves squirming his way up so that his head is tucked right under your chin.

He always sleeps with his hands clasped together. It's rare to catch him sleeping with his hands in any other position.  He also rarely tucks his legs up. He likes to have them shooting straight out from his body. I think this is because he was transverse at the top of my uterus. I don't think his legs were ever tucked up into the fetal position.

Rhys belches like a 16 year old boy. He is so loud. It's hilarious and quite startling! And he usually does like two or three good ones in a row. He's a little glutton so it's no wonder. He can suck back a bottle like nobody's business. And he is a superstar breast-feeder. Which is a bit ironic, since he's only allowed to nurse two times per day. The rest of the time he needs bottles of my milk with a special formula added to it (he has malabsorption issues due to his NEC, the first infection he had).

I love how he always wrinkles up his forehead. He always has a serious expression on his face. He used to look a bit like Benjamin Button (a baby old man) but now that he's filling out he's starting to look more like a healthy baby.

Rhys, we are so proud and amazed by you. You have given us a lifetime of stress so far (so you better be a good teenager!) but you have taught us what's important in life as well. Keep fighting little man, you will do great things in this world. We love you!

Garrett

Trying to find time to spend time individually with the kids is a bit difficult. But, we try. And it is very important to me to see the babies as individuals, not just "the babies".  They really are very different. Very distinct personalities. Of course, just because they were "womb-mates" doesn't mean they should be the same right? But sometimes it's easy to forget that. For example, Garrett has learnt to smile, and Rhys hasn't yet. Of course, this had me imagining every disorder that Rhys could possibly have and googling them. Everyone says not to compare, but it's hard!

Anyways, this post is all about Garrett. And if it takes me weeks to get around to doing a post about Rhys, it's just because I am insanely busy. I will NOT feel guilty about it! (haha, yeah right!)

Garrett is a sweetheart. He's a little more sensitive than Rhys is and seems slightly put out by all the world has to offer him. I think his preference would be to be back inside his mommy, all safe and sound. Truthfully, I think he misses Ben. They say identical siblings have a special connection right?

Garrett has a short fuse. He can be peacefully sleeping and then BANG! He's STARVING and acts as though you haven't fed him for weeks, when actually it's only be 90 minutes. He likes to eat often and small amounts. When he cries, it's truly pitiful and breaks your heart.  He's even learnt how to perfect the lower lip pout. The world is ending for Garrett if he has a wet diaper or gets too hungry. And you MUST cuddle him for ages after he eats. Nothing less is acceptable.  :-)

Garrett has learnt to smile and coo. He loves looking at faces. Often when you hold him, he does this:

He would totally win a staring contest.

I have yet to catch one of his smiles on camera, but his whole face lights up. It's gorgeous! I think the first person he smiled at was Rylen. Because of this, Rylen is always asking "lay him down so he can laugh at me!" Rylen likes to lay beside him on the floor and get real close to his face. It's pretty sweet.

Garrett now weighs 8 lbs 9 oz! He has officially surpassed the weight that Rylen was born at (8 lbs 8 oz). He feels more like a "real baby" now, rather than a fragile preemie. He is even outgrowing his newborn diapers. I can't believe he was just 3 lbs 13 oz when he was born. He's come a long way. He has chubby legs now and you just can't help but kiss his pudgy cheeks.

Garrett is like Mark's "mini-me". He looks so much like Mark that it's alarming sometimes.

Down to the details, they definitely have the same genes! Garrett has a dimple on his chin. So does Mark. Garrett has a dimple on his ear. So does Mark, except his is on the opposite ear. Their eyes are the same shape, as are their lips. It would have been so interesting to see if Ben has all these details as well. I'm not sure how "identical" they would have been. Sometimes they say identical siblings have little differences such as dimples for example. Or sometimes, they are "mirror image". I guess we'll never know, but it makes me happy that I know mostly what Ben would have looked like (other than the little details).


Garrett likes to sleep with his arms up by his head. Even if you try to bundle his arms, he always finds a way for them to escape.

My prediction for Garrett is that he will be similar in personality to Rylen. He seems to share some of the same personality traits already: the need for cuddles, the sensitivity.  But, I think he might be a little less active, less inclined to "jump in" and try new things. He might be more of a stay-back and observe type guy. Just a prediction, I could be totally wrong.

Garrett, I love you so much. You're my little Snuggle Monster. Even though you drive me crazy at 3 am, I wouldn't change a thing about you! I hope you need those cuddles forever and ever! (but if you can change the timing a bit, like to daytime hours, that would be great!)

HOME!

We have been home in Brandon for about two weeks now. We arrived back on February 22.

It's been crazy, wonderful, and very surreal.

The last time I was here, was November 22. I was hugely pregnant, very uncomfortable, and basically miserable. I was having constant braxton hicks contractions. I was scared, depressed and nervous. November was kind of a crappy month. The last memories I have of being home were this.

And so, to arrive home with two new babies, was well...a little bit strange. It was almost like this huge gap of time had passed, but without me knowing it. The whole NICU thing seems like AGES ago...actually, it almost seems like it never happened!

It took a few days to adjust, but slowly we are making new memories in our house that include our sweet little boys.

I love being home. Laying down in my own bed for the few minutes a night that the boys allow me to, is great. I have loved seeing my friends that I have missed so much.

But, being home is also nuts. These boys keep us insanely busy, and very sleep deprived. I miss the help of my parents. I miss the laundry being done and meals being cooked! (Thanks Mom!)

Luckily, I have some awesome friends here that are helping us out so much.
We have had meals and baking delivered to us. My good friends Rachel, Michelle B. and Lisa have come over to help with the babies in the afternoons and evenings. Lisa made sure my house was spotless before we arrived home, and has also watched Rylen for me at her place. This is all such a HUGE help!

I also am lucky to have an amazing husband. He does MORE than his fair share of nighttime duties, changes bums like a pro, cleans, cooks and is basically super-dad to all our boys. He's a saint. I picked a good one :-)

Here are some highlights of our first week home:

Welcome home!

Our first dinner out. Rylen was DYING to go to his favorite restaurant Huggy's. Has been asking to go since roughly December-ish. He was super happy.

Our first walk trying to maneuver the giant stroller

Cuteness

My boys :-)